Monday, January 07, 2008

Hello everyone!

This is my Christmas newsletter......

I have been interning at Jubilee Christian Fellowship, Stratford, Ontario since 4th February this year. It is so hard to believe that I have been in Stratford for nearly a year! I have really enjoyed my year here and the intern program has exceeded my expectations. I am currently in Kansas City at the International House of Prayer for 1 month and will be returning to Stratford on 4th January 2008. (see end of newsletter)

I would like to share a little of what has been going on in my heart this year……..I feel that this has been a year of continuing to press in for victory through faulty mind-sets which have been my truth for many years. (the process began when I was living on the chicken farm with John & Evelyn) Even my name reflects that things are changing, as I am Sara Victoria, (meaning conqueror and victory) not just Sara! I have based so much of my life on lies about myself, others and God, and I feel that I am beginning to experience for myself the truth, and the truth is freeing me." Amen!! John 3:16 (The Message) That is the truth of who God is, and who I am.

My year in Stratford has been a wake up call to how little I actually know Jesus, which is what being a Christian is all about! I know all about Him from the words I read in the Bible, and I can serve Him no problem (I often let myself get too busy) – but can I really say that He is my closest friend? In IHOP today we sung the following words – ‘to know more than a page, to feel your embrace Jesus.’ I am on a quest to ‘know’ him, to feel His embrace, to be walking in close relationship with him, fully surrendered to Him in love.
The following words also really impacted me from a song we sung at IHOP - ‘I don’t want a name that I’m alive, when I’m dead on the inside. Wake me up! This really challenged me to think about much of my spiritual journey over the years and in recent times. I was deeply convicted. I have spent a lot of time and effort trying to give the impression that I am alive, when at times I have actually been pretty dead inside. I see that I have let issues of the heart, fear of man, people pleasing and other such things take my eyes off focus.

I want to ask you to forgive me where I have ‘given the impression that I have been alive, but have been dead on the inside.’ My desire is to be fully alive to Him, and to His plans and purposes for my life.

I would also like to share with you about my personal battle with depression. I was always under the impression that Christians were not meant to be depressed – but it did not change the fact that I had many of the symptoms of depression which really hindered me from being able to receive from God!! I spent most of my adult life not admitting my need for medication until August 2006. I finally went to the doctor shortly after coming back from TACF and I can honestly say that it was the best thing that I could ever have done. About 2 weeks after starting the pills, I had a clarity in my thoughts that I had not had for years and years. This confirmed to me what I was beginning to suspect – that there was a chemical imbalance in my brain that these tablets were helping. (I had been researching the long term effects of the recreational drugs that I had taken in my late teens and early twenties and one of them was that the brain cannot make the necessary chemical – serotonin, for balanced mood.) Praise God for medication!! (I am however believing for full healing in this area in Jesus’ Name but am continuing with the pills until I clearly know it is time to stop them!)

I have been on such an incredible journey with God and I thank Him for much healing and breakthrough in my life. When I came to Canada I was a basket case! I had many fears and phobias mainly due to my own bad choices and was desperate for freedom! God has been faithful, and I can say that He really does have the power to transform. If He can do it for me, He can do it for anyone! I am excited about the year ahead!

Above is a wee bit of what I have been up to........

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